Scheming
by Bazylia de Grean
Summary: Torment series, nr 4. Before any Special Deliveries or Games, there something because of which it all began. Jedi Masters Keey and Ilya, and Ilya's padawan Sele, on a mission together with Dooku and Qui-Gon. And Keey practices... stealing.


_Disclaimer__:_ I don't own Dooku or Qui-Gon, nor the SW universe. However, I do own Ilya Bassel, Keey Spani and Sele Stark.

* * *

**Scheming**

Negotiations, against all the fears, turned out to be quite easy. Unfortunately, they turned out to be quite long and boring as well. So when three Jedi Masters and two Padawans were being led to their quaters after the successfully finished business, they were thinking about three things only: a supper, a warm bath and a comfortable bed… well, more like five comfortable beds.

--

The reality was not so sweet, as it turned out when the Jedi inspected their apartment. It was quite comfortable, with a little tidy kitchen, one big, well-furnished room and… sadly, only one bathroom.

_The Dark Side had something to do with this_, thought Jedi Master Yan Dooku sourly. _One bathroom and _three _women, Force preserve us…_

"Something's the matter, Master?" asked Qui-Gon with care.

Dooku just pointed silently towards two Jedi Masters accompanied by the Padawan of one of them, then turned his gaze towards the bathrooms door, with a tormented look on his face. Qui-Gon understood momentarily and his good spirits fell – that was not looking good at all.

"I'll go first, if you have no objections," announced Master Keey Spani, and went straight to the bathroom, not even waiting for an answer, then closed the door behind her with a little thud.

"Just don't forget to bolt the door," murmured Dooku through clenched teeth.

"I've heard that, Yan Dooku!" cried Keey outraged, her voice audible more than clearly even from behind the solid bathroom door.

Master Ilya Bassel and her padawan, Sele Stark, giggled. Dooku sighed and slumped onto a chair heavily. The he leant down, reached into his suitcase and after a while brought up a mobile holochess board.

"Anyone willing to play?" he asked the space around him, putting the boards on the table.

"Me," Ilya dropped her luggage onto one of the beds, thus marking her territory, and sat by the table, on the other chair. "Sith," she added, noticing Dooku's questioning glare. Jedi had their special chess in place of traditional white and black ones - the Light Side versus the Dark Side.

Dooku concentrated on the game, trying to turn off at least a part of his mind. But Sele and Qui-Gon's loud voices, apparently quarreling about which bed was each of them to take, efficiently prevented the Jedi Master from any attempts at relaxing.

"Oh, would you two just shut up?" commanded Keey in a perfectly bored tone, on getting out of the bathroom, her Jedi robe hugged tightly around her.

"Y-yes, Master Spani," answered immediately both Padawans humbly. If anyone tried not to listen to Master Spani's wishes, it was one's own risk, and not a one they were willing to take.

"Who's going now?" asked Dooku hopefully, leaving the game for a moment.

"Sele, go, I'll just finish the game and go right after you finish," instructed Ilya, without drawing her eyes away from the chessboard.

Dooku just did a mental facepalm.

--

When after another hour ladies finally ceased occupying the bathroom, Dooku waved his hand at Qui-Gon, resigned.

"Go, I have a rematch going on," he announced, resetting the board. _And later, when I finally get into the bathroom, I'm going to use all the warm water that's left, and I won't be leaving the __bathtube__ for at least an hour_. That thought somehow made him feel slightly better.

--

When Qui-Gon left the bathroom, Dooku immediately jumped up.

"And now, my dears, I'm going to use all the remaining warm water," he proclaimed with utter satisfaction.

Keey Spani tore her gaze away from the book she was reading and looked up at Dooku.

"That's fine with me," she agreed, unusually peacefully. "But I'm not quite sure you'd want to be standing in the shower for an hour…"

Dooku felt almost as if she had told him that Force did not exist.

"There's no bathtube?" he asked, summoning all the hope he still had.

"Only a shower," confirmed Keey mercilessly, with a bright smile on her face.

--

Sele looked at the watch with a queer kind of awe.

"Forty minutes," she murmured to Qui-Gon, vainly trying to push him of the strategic spot on the wide windowsill. "He doesn't give up easily."

Ilya Bassel coughed gently.

"_Master_ Dooku doesn't give up easily," corrected Sele, rolling her eyes.

Qui-Gon chuckled. "Of course he doesn't give up. Mhm, I'd say it'll be twenty minutes more, at least, before he goes out."

Both Jedi Masters, sitting idly on the floor with mugs full of hot tea in their hands, exchanged smiles and glances.

"Do you think…" began Ilya.

"I think it's a perfect opportunity to realize my plan," judged Keey, grinning widely.

Sele paused in her vain struggles to get Qui-Gon off the windowsill and started listening carefully.

"Sele, find Qui-Gon something to do for a while, would you?" suggested Keey sweetly, standing up and putting away her tea.

"Aye, Master Spani. May I ask what it's all about?"

"Right," supported Qui-Gon.

Ilya stood up, too. "Right now, my boy, it's about getting you out of our way for the nearest, say, ten minutes or so, so that you won't move, or talk, and first of all so that you won't try to disturb us."

"But…" protested Qui-Gon weakly, but was silenced on the spot by Keey's menacing glance.

"No 'buts', or I'll get even with you just after I finish with your Master," warned Keey, with a charming smile on her lips.

Qui-Gon obediently remained seated.

Master Spani approached the bathroom door, happily noticed there was quite a large gap between the door and the floor, then closed her eyes and concentrated.

"What's she… I mean, what's Master Spani…" began Sele, but Ilya silenced her with a wave of her hand.

"Watch and learn."

A piece of dark brown material appeared under the door. It was growing bigger and bigger, until it slid into the room completely and turned out to be Master Dooku's outer robe. Ilya quietly came closer and gathered the robe from the floor, just in time to make some space for the underrobe, which was already emerging.

Sele and Qui-Gon watched in horrified fascination.

"But…"

"But…"

"Oh, come on," mumbled Keey, after the pile of clothes was increased by a pair of trousers, a belt, two socks and something suspiciously alike underwear, "I left him a towel."

Ilya put a hand to her mouth, then buried her face in the robe she was holding, in an attempt to stiffle her laughter. Keey, meanwhile, pushed the rest of the clothes under one of the beds.

"What's so funny?" asked Dooku from the bathroom.

After a while the steady murmur of flowing water silenced, and after another while…

"Damn!" bellowed Dooku, at his full register. "Give me back my clothes _now_!"

"Clothes?" Keey's voice was radiating pure innocence. "What clothes?"

At that Ilya hastily threw the remaining robe towards the nearest bed, but the robe was too light and landed in the middle of the floor instead.

"My clothes, you witch," accused Dooku.

Keey burst into rippling laughter. "My dear, just come and get them."

Spani's words were followed by another curse, and then the bathroom door opened, revealing Master Dooku, covered only by a towel draped around his hips. Aside of the towel he was covered only in a few drops of water which were falling ocasionally from his wet hair.

Sele goggled. Ilya and Keey, as experienced Jedi Masters, simply stared, without goggling or such, but with meaningful smiles on their faces.

Master Dooku reached out and his robe flew from the floor straight to his outstretched hand.

"Perfidious, vile witches," he stated, sending both women a murderous glare. He put his robe on and returned to the bathroom, summoning the rest of his clothes, which flew in right behind him.

"I have a bad feeling about this," whispered Sele to Qui-Gon.

"Me too," Qui-Gon nodded. "But just have a look at their faces and then try to tell them it was a bad idea…"

Sele sniggered. "I can tell them, but I doubt they'd be convinced…"

Qui-Gon watched his fellow padawan closely for a while and snorted. "Yeah, of course. So maybe first try to convince yourself, okay?"

--

All three Jedi ladies were sleeping so soundly they did not notice mysterious rustles, reverberating in the room.

_To the bathroom_, instructed Master Dooku.

_Yes, Master_, nodded Qui-Gon obediently.

Another set of rustles followed.

_Err… Master?_

_Yes?_

_But… they won't be dangerous, right?_

Dooku chuckled quietly.

_Oh, they will. __But don't worry, you'll be safely locked in the bathroom._

_And you, Master?_

It was not visible in the darkness, but a predatorous smile appeared on Master Dooku's face.

_And I am going to have incredible fun._

--

The first thing all the ladies noticed in the morning was the smell of coffee.

"The elixir of life," mumbled Sele half-consciously, clumsily attempting to get up.

"Mhmm," agreed Ilya, sitting up slowly.

Keey settled for just opening her eyes. "Haven't you noticed anything strange?" she asked, suspiciously.

"No. What's the matter?" asked Ilya, then continued, "Well, it's cold like hell ,but..."

"As if someone left the window opened for the whole… night…" Sele's voice faded away as she noticed the window was opened indeed.

Keey sat up. "All right, I'm getting up and going to have a serious talk with _someone_," she sputtered, clenching her teeth. She leaned and her arm reached towards the floor, where her robe was laying… but there was no robe. "Damn it!"

"What's up?" Ilya was standing already, searching for her own robe.

Sele looked around and thought it would be best to stay in bed for some time longer.

"_Dooku_," growled Keey.

"I don't care for Dooku," Ilya lost her patience. "I just want to find my clothes, and preferably before I'll freeze!"

Keey got up, took her duvet and threw it over her shoulders with as much dignity as she could muster.

"I've told you it's Dooku's job. Come, I'll talk to him."

Ilya eyed her friend's unusual cape and decided a nightgown was enough. "And me?" she asked, just in case.

"You? You can talk with him, too. Ough, come on."

"And what a..." began Sele, but she was cut off by Keey.

"Your Master will deal with you when we get back. Come on!" Keey catched Ilya's sleeve and pulled. "Let's hurry, or Dooku will drink all the coffee."

Ilya momentarily regained full consciousness.

"All the coffee? Over my dead body! Let's go!"

--

Master Dooku was sitting in the kitchen and calmly drinking his morning coffee (with milk and sugar). When both Jedi ladies stormed into the kitchen, he first carefully put the cup back on the table, and only then raised his gaze towards the incomers.

"Good morning, dear ladies," he greeted them kindly.

"Give back our clothes," demanded Keey straightforwardly.

Dooku arched an eyebrow.

"Clothes?" he asked, with a perfectly feigned note of surprise. "But _I_ don't have them. By the way, classy cape, Keey," he commented politely.

"But you know where our clothes are," Ilya accusingly pointed her finger at Dooku.

"Indeed. But that does not mean I'm going to give them to you just like that." Dooku's gaze slowly slid over Ilya's nightgown from the top to the bottom. A slight smile appeared on his lips. "A very nice… nightgown," he remarked innocently.

Ilya was aware she was blushing, and it irritated her. "You vile, foul…" she began.

Dooku made a worried face. "Oh, and I just wanted to be kind."

Keey smiled sweetly. "Come, Il', let's have some breakfast. And don't care about him, next time we'll simply take the towel, too."

Master Dooku's gaze again wandered the full length of Ilya's nightgown. Twice. A lazy smile spread slowly on his face. "If I were you, I'd think it over."

"No one's going to think anything over," announced Ilya fiercely, pouring the coffee. "_I_ am _not_ getting into this. Yes, I've noticed you seem to quite like my nightgown, but I'm really attached to it. Really really."

Dooku sighed. „So much of the fun. Keey, maybe you'd go for it?"

Keey snorted. "No, thank you. My pyjamas is too precious for you even to see it. Why do you think I came here wearing a duvet?"

"I thought it was because of the lack of pyjamas," laughed Dooku.

"_Dooku!_"

"What?"

Ilya sighed. "Just busy yourself with the coffee and stop these follies of yours," she forced a muf of coffee into Dooku's hands.

Dooku kept on smiling. "But that's a really nice night…"

"Busy yourself with the coffee, I said!" interrupted Ilya sharply.

"And you?"

"I'll do the same."

Keey, listening to that exchange of words, smiled widely. "So I'll busy myself with follies, then."

"_Keey!_", moaned Ilya and Dooku in a perfect duet.

"What?"

* * *

_Author's note:_ Please note that in this story Dooku is still a Jedi, and probably in his late 30s or early 40s.

Yes, so that's how the whole business began… ;)


End file.
